Royal Baby

Way to go Kate!
If I had a royal baby I would have named him George too.

~photo source~:http://us.yhs4.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=Babylon&hsimp=yhs-002&type=br112dm25&p=royal%20baby

It's a good name.

The Effects of Drinking with Silly Sally

wine makes me sleepy....
and head fuzzy...
and happy....

~photo source~

http://maddensresort.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/red-wine.jpg

 and randy.....

~photo source~

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaY5Jjc6Stz7bCNEyxdWy4vdihqszqr9j-8jkNDh_TpvIf8vne6BGZ8jLmwaX1aaMj02lwzJqreAWZFRujErSctIF6bbUdkfXw48HIwWbJZhgdkHDry_OgpgF0tEcH9EXQbLX-EWFxULj7/s1600/box+wine.jpg

vodka makes me silly....
and happy....
and randy....

~photo source~

http://www.nandanjha.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/absolut_vodka_family.jpg

rum makes me sleepy....
and happy...

~photo source~

http://img3.findthebest.com/sites/default/files/835/media/images/Sailor_Jerry_1.jpg

and horny....

~photo source~

http://i1.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/250/draft_lens13337601module119113961photo_1306455666sailor_jerry.jpg

beer makes me fearless!

~photo source~

http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4976807290866228&pid=1.7

at night time I'm usually scared of my garage filled with power tools.
but after a couple beers  I'm out there sanding and painting and drilling!
oh yeah!
let's see, xanax makes me chill.

~source~

http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa156/lockdun1/Xanax.png

ambien makes me sleepy.

~source~

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwiXppwveOzjF_z2Kei3CBLgtxFtB-OvDdgc5dAnWcwIMtg1m2ZzNpygL0Cnf0rRa3Wlgj0zEiYIEsqwHEV5Oohgy-nxmo7aWi5i1XBMByq1OeszDrHzPxtCaAiIurDfYXNqFcFsB0xBAk/s320/Ambien.png

~source~

http://s3.amazonaws.com/lolsnort_prod/photos/103/small/ambien-walrus.jpg

hamburgers make me hungry....

~source~

http://www.junkfoodnews.net/six-dollar-burger.jpg

and happy....
and silly....
and randy...

mojitos are nice.

~source~

http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4598897444455413&pid=1.7

i love a good wine cooler.

~source!

http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4621858365113986&pid=1.7&w=240&h=180&c=7&rs=1

cosmos are delightful!

~source~

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/cosmopolitan-cocktail-12852033.jpg

tequila makes me sick....

~source~

http://www.adegadoconde.com.br/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/t/e/tequila_jose_cuervo_especial_ouro_750ml.jpg

and randy...

~source~

http://rlv.zcache.com/tequila_makes_me_horny_t_shirt-rb7e10727731f480c9420472e161aef54_804gs_512.jpg

jagermeister makes me sicker!
barf!

~source~

http://www.justsaypictures.com/images/jagermeister-1qhz.jpg

my brother in law makes the world's greatest mud slide!
lordy! it's so good!

~source~

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2qr_8FOz_9zoWt7TdkNw-qnQ01WNMhWNXt1slW7ynbQN3uisCFVmJj4YeL8OlXgaQMtjipKOljeEDAEJJJ9J18lOCvtCewe2WFm0FIXsD_xyVaVWdR-JR_uPmeDJ8Dx_7n2t5_FEut9Vi/s1600/mudslide-drink-01.jpg

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2qr_8FOz_9zoWt7TdkNw-qnQ01WNMhWNXt1slW7ynbQN3uisCFVmJj4YeL8OlXgaQMtjipKOljeEDAEJJJ9J18lOCvtCewe2WFm0FIXsD_xyVaVWdR-JR_uPmeDJ8Dx_7n2t5_FEut9Vi/s1600/mudslide-drink-01.jpg

then I ask chili's to try to re-create his masterpiece and I'm always disappointed.

my sister makes a mean appletini!

~source~

http://5fingerevents.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/appletini1.jpg

and a mean orange juice with vodka drink!

~source~

http://www.amctv.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/screwdrivier-590x375.jpg

I'm suddenly filling the urge to drink.
at 4:03 in frickin' afternoon!
uh oh!

Dear Tilly,
Of course you're forgiven! I could never get mad at you! You're too damn cute!
Now, I'm going to need photos of the following:
~your freaky ass feet in the sunshine
~the gorgeous pink flowers on your tree
~and the Frisbee on your neighbor's roof- take that shit down! It would drive me crazy too!

From my kitchen window (at 1:18 in the am) I can see my neighbor's kids have left their shoes on my front lawn. 3 pairs of sneakers and 1 lone flip flop.

If they don't pick them up in a few days I will toss them over the fence or have my kids deliver them. It irritates me that they leave their shit in my yard.
It also irritates me when the kids don't wear shoes. Ever. Or when they come in my house without knocking. Or when they use their car as an unsupervised play land. It's not a play land. It's an effing car. The little one showed me that she could fit 6 pennies into the cigarette lighter. Impressive....not!

My kids have left a skateboard, a bike, a scooter and a soccer ball in the front lawn.
Right now they are all being showered by the sprinkler.
I keep telling them that someone is going to steal their stuff if they leave it out like that. I'm tempted to hide their stuff in the back field and see what happens!

My neighbors to the west of us do not have a lawn. They have dirt and weeds. Mainly dandelions. They are the bane of my husband's existence.

I don't mind it so much. "Cupcake" picks bouquets of them for me and we make flower wreaths and pretend we're fairies.
If they've gone to seed they make wishes.

Across the tree my neighbors have a large tree that looks just like Sideshow Bob when it's full of leaves.

I see our camping trailer in our driveway. I have yet to go camping this summer but "the man" and my kiddos have. I couldn't go. I was sick.
I've been sick, which is why I haven't called either. But we've talked since then and I'm feeling better so it's all good.

Love you lots,
Sally

P.S. Have you seen The Sopranos? My hubbs has been watching it on Netflix. I had no desire to watch it. But then I sat down next to him when he was watching it one day and as it turns out it is somewhat of a comedy, not just blood and guts like I thought it would be.

Speaking of blood and guts, True Blood is getting ridiculous! They have vampires, werewolves, shape shifters and fairies now. What will it be next? Freakin' leprechauns?!?

Dear Sally,

Please let the record state that I miss you. Please also forgive me for being a horrible friend because I haven't called you this week. Please also let the record state that it is 6:53 a.m., I am completely sober, and this is NOT a drunken post. I WILL call you this weekend.

So let's see what kinds of things I write when it is 6:53 a.m. and my eyes are still puffy from sleeping and my brain is still waking up, shall we ...

- There is a Frisbee on my neighbors roof. I see it every day. It drives me crazy. Part of me wants to hop the fence and rescue that poor Frisbee. I hate it when people leave things on roofs. That is not a good place to stash your stuff.

- I have a tree in my front 'yard' that is starting to bloom very big pink flowers. It is very pretty. Perhaps later today I will take a picture of said tree so that I can share it with you.

- Right now, I'm sitting in the living room on the couch. The sun is just coming up and the way that it is coming through my window, it is just on my feet. When I look at my TV, which is off, so it is completely black, all I see are my feet - lightened by the sun. When I move them, it looks creepy. Now I can't stop staring at them ... creepy ass feet in my T.V.

Anyway, it is now 6:58. At 7:00 I have to get in the shower so that I am not late for work. So, I shall sign off. I hope you have a FANTABULOUS DAY. I will call you this weekend because I love you and I miss you.

Love,
Your very bestest friend in the whole wide world,
Tilly.

Bug Karma

I can tell you from personal experience that Karma exists and not just in the human world but in the world of bugs, as well.
Hey! Don't look at my like I'm effing crazy! I'm being totally and utterly serious.
Case in point: I was in my garage smoking a cigarette. I was minding my own business, just leaning up against the wall, listening to the windchiime sing while inhaling the sweet, sweet menthol sucking on a gross and disgusting cancer stick.
As I stood there in the garage I felt something tickly on my leg. I looked down and I had 3 baby spiders climbing up my leg!
(insert heeby jeeby dance here)
So, yeah, I smashed them.
I don't feel bad about it.
 I would do it again.
Well, then low and behold here comes Mama Spider (or Daddy Spider, I didn't wait to ask!) so I stomped on it! Smash! Dead! I think Mama's friends must have witnessed this bc for the next ten minutes or so I was living freaking Arachnophobia!
In the course of 5-10 minutes I just killed me about 27 spiders! *shudders down my spine* I can't handle it! Creepy crawly things creep me out!
The last spider I killed died by fire. Frankly it was humongous. I heard him coming before I even saw him!Yeah, he was like a golf ball size and coming right at me! So I did what any normal person would do and caught him in a jar and threw my cig in the jar, thus lighting him on fire. I think I heard him screaming.
Okay, okay, calm down please.
Before you call PETA on me, let me assure you that it was a fight or flight situation here. It was me or the 8 legged freak! And to be perfectly honest I feared for my life. I just did what had to be done.
Here's where Karma steps in here when I turn to walk into the house and.....dun dun dun....step on a bee!!!
At 3 in the morning, mind you.
Aren't they supposed to be sleeping
(insert inner bratface voice here: "Umm....hello? Aren't YOU supposed to be sleeping at 3 in the funking morning? Hmmm???")
Touche Bratface.
It hurt like a bitch!!! Oh and btw, I'm allergic to bees. My epi-pen has expired so I went inside, took some benedryl and slapped some redmond clay on my sting. Aww....
What a night!
Ok now we have come to the end of our story.
Tell me, boys and girls, does anyone know what the moral of our story tonight is?
That's right!
Be respectful of living things or they'll get ya!
*The Golden Rule says: do unto others as you would have others do to you."
But, bugs aren't "others"! They're bugs! Grr!
Also, cigarettes are bad for you. Not sexy or cool.
Bad.

Not sexy.

Not bad ass.

Bad!

Don't do it!
The end.
That's all she wrote.



P.S.
Bees be bitches!!!!

Doh! My bad!

Dearest Tilly,
Of course I remember that's your jam! And you freakin rock at it!Young MC would be so impressed by your MAD SKILLS! See, at the time of my last post I *might* have been a wee bit intoxicated and jammin' to your jam. And from there I'm pretty sure my inner preteen wanted to be like Tilly Pinkwood, the coolest girl in my middle school. (pst...that's you!) Can we be friends that hang out and bust a move together? Oh please! Oh please! You won't regret it! I'll be your best friend ever - your BFFAEAEAEAE -Best Friend Forever And Ever And Ever And Ever And Ever!!!
With Love, 
Sincerely,
So Long,
Farewell,
Alvederzane,
Goodbye,
Adeui,
Hugs and Kisses,
Peace Out,
Silly Sally

Dear Sally,

I LOVE the Glee Pandora station about as much as I love you,
which is A LOT!

Here's to a musical day!!

Love,
Tilly

Do you hear what I hear?

And tonight I'm listening to (and singing/rapping in a room by myself bc I'm awesome like that.)
What are you listening to tonight?
This is what I hear:

This here's a tale for all the fellas
try to what those ladies tell us
get shot down cause you're overzealous
play hard to get and females get jealous
Ok smartie
go to a party
Girls are dancin' and the crowd is showin' body
achick walks by you wish you could sex her
but you're standing by the wall like you was Poindexter
Next day function high class luncheon
the food is served and your stone cold munchin'
Music comes on and you start to dance
but  you ate so much you nearly split your pants
girl starts walkin'
guys start gawkin'
She sits down next to you and starts talkin'
says she wanna dance cause she likes the groove
so come on fatso and just bust a move
Oh
hey
yay
huh
oh oh
huh
hey
yea
huh
huh
Just bust a move
huh uh
hey
uhh
hea
yeah
yeah
huh
huh
You're on a mission and you're wishin'
someone could cure your lonely condition
Lookin' for love in all the wrong places
no fine girls just ugly faces
from frustration first inclination
become a monk and leave the situation
But every dark tunnel has a light of hope
don't have yourself with a celebate rope
New movie's showin' so you're goin'
Could care less about the 5 that you're blowin'
Theater gets dark to start and you spot a fine woman sittin' in the front row
She's dressed in yellow, she says hello
Come sit next to me you fine fellow
You run over there without a second to lose and what comes next?
Hey bust a move!
You want it, you got it
you want it, baby you got it
Just bust a move
You want it, you got it
you want it, baby you got it
In the city ladies look pretty
guys tell jokes so they can seem witty
Tell a funny joke just to get some play
then you try to make a move and she says no way!
Girls are fakin'
goodness sakin'
They want a man who brings home the bacon
You got no money and you got no car
then you got no woman and there you are
Some girls are sophistic, materialistic
looking for a man makes them opportunistic
They're lying on the beach perpatratin' a tan
so that a brother with money can be their man
On the beach you're strollin' really high rollin'
Everything you have is your's and not stolen
a girl runs up with something to prove
so don't just stand there  bust a move!
You want it, you got it
You want it, baby you got it,
You want it, you got it
You want it, baby you got it.
Just bust a move!
Bring it down for me fellas
Huh uh
Hey
Uh
Uh uh
Hey yay
Oh
Yeah
Hey
Yeah
Huh Huh
Your best friend, Harry has a brother Larry
and 5 days from now he's going to marry
He's hopin' you can make it there if you can
Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man
You say neato
check your libido
and roll to the church in your new tuxedo
The bride walks down just to start the wedding
and there's one more girl you won't be getting
So you start thinkin'
then you start blinkin'
a bride maid looks at and thinks that you're winkin'
She thinks you're kinda cute so she winks back
and now you're feeling really fine cause the girl is stacked
Reception's jumppin,
bass is pumpin'
look at the girl and your heart starts thumpin'
Say she wanna dance to a different groove
now you know what to do G bust a move!
You want it, you got it
You want it, baby you got it
You want it, you got it
You want it, baby you got it
Just bust a move!
You want it, you got it
You want it, baby you got it
You want it, you got it
You want it, baby you got it
Move it boy!
Uh uh
Hey
Uh uh
Hey
Hey
Oh oh
Hey

I wish rap was still like this.
Then I would listen to rap.
Fo sho.

Incedentally, I'm listening to Glee on Pandora.
Thanks for bring that gem back Glee!
And thank you Young MC for being so rad!

Flying

I went flying earlier tonight.
It went like this...
I walk in to my laundry room, slip on a rougue dryer sheet and FLY across lanoleom floor.
I know what you're thinking, that Silly Sleep Sally has quite the exciting life.
And you're absolutely right. It was absolutely terrifying! I could have died!

These bad boys are dangerous. They should probably come with a warning.
I am lucky to be alive, I tell you!

 

Heinz

Did you know that Senator Kerry's wife, Mrs. Heinz is part of the ketchup empire?

I wonder if, on the presidential campaign trail, they passed out heinz ketchup packets

and told people to put them UNDER their toilet seats so that when they sat down

it would squirt them and look like blood.

Eww ...

Speaking of blood ... my period is almost here. Stupid periods.

They hurt and they make me tired.

That's it.

Oh ... and alcohol is good.

Now that's it.

Motivation

Why is it that the couch is impossible to move from?

I'm in the middle of a 4 (FOUR) day weekend and while I've had a semi productive day,

I have no motivation to get off my ass (can I say that here? I just did) and get anything else done.

I'm not even doing anything. The TV is off, I'm bored of surfing the web, I don't really know

what it is that I want to do? I've got lists and lists of projects, but I really just don't care

about them right now.

I would LOVE a girls night out with my bestie. Some rum, some craft, a chick flick,

some girl talk, some gossip, some laughter ... yes ... that is what I wish I was doing

RIGHT THIS MOMENT.

Bestie - here's to the day when we get to drink some rum together again.

The Delicious Reoccurring Dream

I had that dream again.
The one with the red vines growing up my house.

You've seen the commercial, right?
The one with the lovey dovey couple eating their red vines and then the red vines turn in to actually vines and the vines (and their love) start to grow up their house like some sort of ivy plant?

Well, if you don't own a tv, don't have cable, hate commercials or live under a rock you can see said commercial here.
You're welcome.

I like that dream.
I could eat red vines anytime I wanted, because I could just pick it off my house from my balcony.

Red Vines-
My favorite candy of all time!
Hands down!

Unless, of course I'm in the mood for a Charleston Chew or some Swedish Fish....

The Downy Dryer Ball

Dude!
Have you ever seen this bad boy in action?

Because I have!
I peeked in during the rinse cycle and -kabam!

It blew my mind!
It's like magic!
Magic I tell you!

Happy 4th of July!

Migraines and fireworks don't mix.
I am not a fan of the 4th of July this year.
I'm just going to go ahead bury my head under my pillow and hibernate for the next 73 days, mmkay?

Did you guess? Did you guess?

Shot to the heart
And you're to blame!
Darlin you give love a bad name!

I play my part
You play your game
You give love a bad name!
(bad name)
Hey! You give love a bad name!

What is it?
Nope.
I'm not telling.
No hints either.

Just wait for the next song and maybe you'll get it then.
The third time's the charm, right?

Ok, here it is:
Friday night and I need a fight
My motorcycle
and a switchblade knife!

Hand full of grease and my hair looks right
but what I need to make me tight is
GIRLS!
GIRLS!
GIRLS!

Really? No guesses? Come on! It's 80's rock people! 80's Rock! Speaking of, have you seen "Rock of Ages"? It is a must see! And a must have playing in the room so you listen while you do crap you gotta do.Watch it!

The social pages say I've got the biggest balls of all
Oh! I've got big balls!
I've got big balls!
And they're such big balls!
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!
 My balls are always bouncing to the left and to the right

and so on and so on....
can you guess what station I'm listening to on Pandora right now?