Bug Karma

I can tell you from personal experience that Karma exists and not just in the human world but in the world of bugs, as well.
Hey! Don't look at my like I'm effing crazy! I'm being totally and utterly serious.
Case in point: I was in my garage smoking a cigarette. I was minding my own business, just leaning up against the wall, listening to the windchiime sing while inhaling the sweet, sweet menthol sucking on a gross and disgusting cancer stick.
As I stood there in the garage I felt something tickly on my leg. I looked down and I had 3 baby spiders climbing up my leg!
(insert heeby jeeby dance here)
So, yeah, I smashed them.
I don't feel bad about it.
 I would do it again.
Well, then low and behold here comes Mama Spider (or Daddy Spider, I didn't wait to ask!) so I stomped on it! Smash! Dead! I think Mama's friends must have witnessed this bc for the next ten minutes or so I was living freaking Arachnophobia!
In the course of 5-10 minutes I just killed me about 27 spiders! *shudders down my spine* I can't handle it! Creepy crawly things creep me out!
The last spider I killed died by fire. Frankly it was humongous. I heard him coming before I even saw him!Yeah, he was like a golf ball size and coming right at me! So I did what any normal person would do and caught him in a jar and threw my cig in the jar, thus lighting him on fire. I think I heard him screaming.
Okay, okay, calm down please.
Before you call PETA on me, let me assure you that it was a fight or flight situation here. It was me or the 8 legged freak! And to be perfectly honest I feared for my life. I just did what had to be done.
Here's where Karma steps in here when I turn to walk into the house and.....dun dun dun....step on a bee!!!
At 3 in the morning, mind you.
Aren't they supposed to be sleeping
(insert inner bratface voice here: "Umm....hello? Aren't YOU supposed to be sleeping at 3 in the funking morning? Hmmm???")
Touche Bratface.
It hurt like a bitch!!! Oh and btw, I'm allergic to bees. My epi-pen has expired so I went inside, took some benedryl and slapped some redmond clay on my sting. Aww....
What a night!
Ok now we have come to the end of our story.
Tell me, boys and girls, does anyone know what the moral of our story tonight is?
That's right!
Be respectful of living things or they'll get ya!
*The Golden Rule says: do unto others as you would have others do to you."
But, bugs aren't "others"! They're bugs! Grr!
Also, cigarettes are bad for you. Not sexy or cool.
Bad.

Not sexy.

Not bad ass.

Bad!

Don't do it!
The end.
That's all she wrote.



P.S.
Bees be bitches!!!!